It's been a bit over a month since I finally took Art's clothes out of our closet. I'm not sure why it has taken me so long to write about it, but it may be the same reason that it took so long for me to do it. It's so final.
For a while after Art died, it was upsetting for me to go into the walk-in closet we shared and see his clothes hanging there; but it was even more upsetting to think about removing them. Although I knew it would have to be done eventually, I just couldn't bring myself to take that step. After awhile, I think it was somewhat comforting to open the closet door and see his clothes still hanging there. Don't get me wrong. There was nothing morbid about it. I didn't bury my face in his shirts in an effort to detect the scent of his aftershave (he didn't wear cologne). It was just such a familiar sight, and I wasn't ready to change that.
Ironically, it was Valentine's Day when I finally did it, with my daughter's help. There was nothing symbolic about choosing that day. It just happened to be a time that worked for both of us. Surprisingly, the act of removing Art's dress shirts, golf shirts, golf shorts, and long pants from hangers, folding them and placing them in boxes for donation to Goodwill, wasn't as painful as I had anticipated. It was sad, but not painful. What was painful, was seeing his half of the closet so empty.
In the weeks since that day, I have moved some of my clothes to fill in the empty spaces. It helps. I still have to deal with his shoes, and the coats, suits, tuxedo, sweaters and other things that are stored in other closets in our 4-bedroom home. And his golf clubs are still sitting in the garage—just the way he left them.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Cooking for One
It's been eight months since Art died and I haven't yet adjusted to shopping and cooking for one. And eating alone still leaves me feeling sad. I have always enjoyed cooking, but I'm not finding much joy in it lately—at least not on a day-to-day basis. I have had opportunities to cook for company during the holidays and in recent weeks, and I found that enjoyable, but cooking for one still seems like too much of a chore. I often start out the day with a plan about what I'm going to cook myself for dinner (from "scratch"), but as dinner time approaches, I, more often than not, talk myself out of cooking what I had planned, and shift to "Plan B."
Plan B might involve scrambled or poached eggs and toast, plus fruit of some kind; or heating up some frozen "pot stickers"from the family sized bag I bought at Costco and keep in the freezer for just such an occasion; or opening a can of Wolfgang Puck soup and having that with some crackers and, maybe, some cheese. One of my favorite Plan B items is Madras lentils, an all natural vegetarian dish made with lentils, red beans and spices in a creamy tomato sauce. It is available at Costco in a box (TastyBite brand) containing 4 individual foil serving packets that can be warmed in a saucepan of boiling water, or emptied into a bowl and microwaved. Sometimes I eat it over rice or make a small side salad to go with it. Other times, I just eat it with a slice or two of bread, preferably whole wheat, of course. Either way, it is a delicious, nutritious and satisfying meal that can be prepared in a matter of minutes.
On days when I'm feeling more ambitious, I might cook something that requires a bit more prep time, such as a stirfry, made with chicken, whatever fresh vegetables I have in the refrigerator, and rice. I keep individually wrapped, boneless chicken breast quarters in the freezer for this and other quick dinners. I also keep a bag of uncooked shrimp in the freezer. I love shrimp and often sauté a few with olive oil, garlic, and lemon juice, and add them to a Caesar salad; or add some chopped fresh tomatoes and serve them over pasta or seasoned white beans. When I am in the mood to actually spend more than a few minutes cooking an evening meal, I try to make enough so that I have leftovers to eat for lunch—or for dinner on a "Plan B" night. I do try to maintain a relatively healthy diet and am, generally, careful to avoid the temptation to fill up on snack foods. I'm also fortunate to have many invitations to eat out, which gives me an opportunity to eat some of the favorite things that I wouldn't take the time and effort to cook for myself.
Obviously, I am not the only person in the world faced with the prospect of cooking for one. There are other people who live alone, either by choice or happenstance, who successfully deal with it every day. I am confident that I will eventually reach that point. Like so many other adjustments in this life I didn't choose, it's just going to take some time.
Plan B might involve scrambled or poached eggs and toast, plus fruit of some kind; or heating up some frozen "pot stickers"from the family sized bag I bought at Costco and keep in the freezer for just such an occasion; or opening a can of Wolfgang Puck soup and having that with some crackers and, maybe, some cheese. One of my favorite Plan B items is Madras lentils, an all natural vegetarian dish made with lentils, red beans and spices in a creamy tomato sauce. It is available at Costco in a box (TastyBite brand) containing 4 individual foil serving packets that can be warmed in a saucepan of boiling water, or emptied into a bowl and microwaved. Sometimes I eat it over rice or make a small side salad to go with it. Other times, I just eat it with a slice or two of bread, preferably whole wheat, of course. Either way, it is a delicious, nutritious and satisfying meal that can be prepared in a matter of minutes.
On days when I'm feeling more ambitious, I might cook something that requires a bit more prep time, such as a stirfry, made with chicken, whatever fresh vegetables I have in the refrigerator, and rice. I keep individually wrapped, boneless chicken breast quarters in the freezer for this and other quick dinners. I also keep a bag of uncooked shrimp in the freezer. I love shrimp and often sauté a few with olive oil, garlic, and lemon juice, and add them to a Caesar salad; or add some chopped fresh tomatoes and serve them over pasta or seasoned white beans. When I am in the mood to actually spend more than a few minutes cooking an evening meal, I try to make enough so that I have leftovers to eat for lunch—or for dinner on a "Plan B" night. I do try to maintain a relatively healthy diet and am, generally, careful to avoid the temptation to fill up on snack foods. I'm also fortunate to have many invitations to eat out, which gives me an opportunity to eat some of the favorite things that I wouldn't take the time and effort to cook for myself.
Obviously, I am not the only person in the world faced with the prospect of cooking for one. There are other people who live alone, either by choice or happenstance, who successfully deal with it every day. I am confident that I will eventually reach that point. Like so many other adjustments in this life I didn't choose, it's just going to take some time.
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